Last night was probably one of the worst nights we've had in a while. I was at my wits end and it didn't help that Olivia (almost 3) woke up as well and had a royal tantrum. So this morning, I was texting Megz while also researching some stuff on my phone and came up with a new plan.
New plan for Ella: Megz and I were talking and came up with a theory that maybe this isn't about sleep. Maybe it's leftover trauma from her NICU stay. Megz suggested that maybe falling asleep feels similiar to being paralyzed. Maybe...it could be! So, new plan. No pack and play. She does NOT like to sleep away from me so I'm going to make an essential oil blend/buy a blend that promotes relaxation, sleep and reduces anxiety (still doing research on the exact combination that's best but they all go hand in hand). Each night, before bed, I'm going to go in our bedroom, set up relaxing music and give her a massage using these oils and an organic lotion or maybe coconut or sweet almond oil. I'm also going to get an oil burner so that our room smells like this. Then, I'll nurse her and we'll lay in bed and relax and be calm.
I'm also going to get a lovey or make one, and start holding it whenever we're doing something calm. Nursing, cuddling, sleeping. We'll sleep with it together so that it smells like us together and let breastmilk get on it so it smells like my milk as well. We'll associate the lovey with all good things. Being relaxed, loved, snuggled and fed. I'm going to make sure our room is a nice temperature and dress in appropriate pajamas,...maybe even just a diaper cover over her diaper (otherwise she takes the darn thing off!!!).
I'm getting a laptop next week with my financial aid so I'll start doing my homework in our room so that as soon as she starts stirring, I'm right there and can pat her to sleep. That seems to be somewhat effective, which makes me wonder if waking up alone is scary for her, which would make sense...her first 74 days of life were spent in a crib alone, as opposed to nestled in her mamas tummy like she was supposed to.