OK, so I couldn't figure out why I had so much success followed by so. much. FAILURE. We were making great progress, but unknown to me, Chase was working on top teeth. We had several nights of extended midnight parties, then Friday all the poo hit the fans. He was up for three hours, wouldn't nurse to sleep, wouldn't do ANYTHING, and was a crab monster. It then occurred to me he hadn't actually nursed (other than a very short dream feed) since 2 that afternoon...then he was up and wild for three hours that night. He woke up and partied AGAIN at 3 and AGAIN would not nurse. I was growing more and more concerned, my breasts were growing fuller and fuller, my heart was starting to panic. Saturday he would not nurse and was struggling with sleep...then I looked at his top gums.
|The face of one seriously teething baby.|
At this point I throw in the towel on the bed switching because he clearly needed to be with me, and I needed to be sure that if he was willing to nurse, that he could. He did NOT have ample wet diapers on Saturday...and I watched the hours tick by without him taking the breast. In fact, aside from a few sips from a sippy, and three different bottles, he wasn't drinking anything! We gave him some advil in case the homeopathics weren't strong enough for him in the hopes that he would nurse. At nap time (about 24 hours in) I got naked, got him naked, and snuggled him in the dark for nap time. I got him to take 4.5oz from a bottle because he still refused to nurse. It was kind of tricky because he had wanted nothing in his mouth all day, so as he was sucking his fingers, I dribbled milk between the two fingers so it would slowly go into his mouth...this worked, he relaxed, and I was able to trade the bottle for his fingers. Then I laid down with him in bed...and he latched on.
|First nursing in 24 hours.|
Then it was bedtime. I didn't give him advil since it didn't seem to help any more than the homeopathics and I don't like OTC pain meds for little kids (or myself if I can help it actually). We started bedtime late because of a MASSIVE storm that knocked out our power and that was rumbling away still at 9pm. But again, I got naked, got the baby naked, offered the breast and just let him snuggle with me to see if he would calm enough to dream feed. He was clearly tired but could not settle, I'm assuming because he was hungry. So...I snuck the bottle in his mouth to get him some milkies in the hopes he would settle down with just a little then go on to dream feed. He did half the bottle (maybe 2oz) then wanted no more. He just snuggled there next to me sleeping and I was just rocking and relaxing with him when suddenly...VOILA! He latched on and nursed like he meant it. FINALLY!
We got into bed and snuggled down for the night. He woke at least 3 or 4 times to nurse during the night (1 time to party, and the other time to cry as hard as his darling little body could cry...poor guy). I kept up with his homeopathics during his wakings and he nursed thoroughly. I thought we were over it. But this morning he refused to nurse again. I offered him a sippy of breastmilk with his breakfast and again, as before, he would take only sips. So I went to pump, filled a bottle, and we went out to run errands as a family. While we were out he started getting cranky in the Ergo and wanted to nap but clearly was hungry. I decided to go to a quiet spot and offer the breast again to see if he would take it. Thankfully he did, but not for long. I think just enough to take the edge off his hunger so he could sleep...but it was progress. He did not want the bottle or a sippy (all this wasted milk!) so I let it go and he took a nap. Once we got home it was obvious it was time for a solid nap. So, again, I took a bottle to the room just in case, bared the boobies and the baby, and rocked him...and he nursed....nursed NURSED!
He had two boobs for nap time then slept almost two hours. I think after 48 hours I'm ready to call his strike off. His teeth have not erupted yet, and he's clearly still uncomfortable, but he's back to breast right now. Clearly this is calling the victory a little early and I'm kind of tentative. I am, however, hopeful that our strike was only 2 days and we will nurse happily ever after from here forward. This was probably the hardest two days I've had with Chase, and that's saying a lot. I cried several times, I was so concerned I was destined to be stuck to a pump for weeks waiting for him to come back to breast full time. I was worried that I wouldn't have the stamina to see it through. I was terrified he was done, even though I know better.
The thing that is difficult to convey in the telling of our very stressful 2 days is that whenever I offered the breast I did so calmly and gently. If he didn't want it right away, he wasn't going to, so I didn't force the issue on him since that would only frustrate him further and perhaps create an aversion. It took a lot of deep breathing and talking myself down from panic about the whole situation. I was a bit of a wreck on Saturday and I was very lucky to have friends reminding me that it was a phase, that it would pass, and to just take care of him and keep pumping until he came back to the breast. Another reason why it is SO vital to have a solid support system behind you when nursing.
Tonight he will probably go back into his crib, depending on how the rest of the evening/afternoon goes. We'll stick with the homeopathics and nurse as much (or as little if that be the case) as he likes. I would say his latch is not so hot right now because he is trying to get comfortable...so I'm a little bit sore between that and the pumping. It's nothing a little nipple butter won't smooth out though.
Nursing strikes can be very worrisome and stressful. It is important to remember, however, before 1 year of age, if a baby stops nursing, they are NOT self-weaning. Weaning indicates that a baby is slowing reducing the amount and frequency of their nursing. Few children self-wean prior to the age of 2 although there are some opportunities to gently wean when baby is busy busy busy after the age of one. If your baby is not nursing as they seem like the should, do not automatically assume baby is weaning, first assume it is a nursing strike and work on breaking the strike. Make sure you get lots of support from your fellow mamas online or in real life because this is an emotionally difficult time. Our No Time For Nursing post has some wonderful tips compiled from personal experience as well as research to help with a baby who is refusing to nurse. I would like to add a few tips to this that I have learned (and been reminded of by my dear mama friends) during the last two days.
- As difficult as it is, try to remain calm, cool, and collected. Your baby can sense your mood. Before offering the breast, take some slow, deep breaths, try to get some snuggles in with your baby, laugh and tickle and cuddle.
- Get Nakey! Or at least topless, and get your baby, no matter his or her age, down to diaper. Skin to skin is calming for babies of all age. If you bedshare, nap with baby if you are able, the closeness and availability of the breast will encourage breastfeeding. Taking a warm bath helps to calm your nerves and baby's nerves as well as provide more skin to skin time.
- Don't force the baby to the breast. If baby isn't going to take the breast right away, generally he won't do it in 5 minutes or 10 minutes either. Just be cool about it. Give baby a kiss and send him on his way.
- Make sure baby is getting fed...sippy, cup, bottle, whatever. You don't want your baby getting dehydrated in the process.
- Protect your supply. Make sure you are effectively and regularly expressing milk (hand, pump, whatever works for you). Any refused feeding should be replaced by a thorough pumping. If you allow the milk to fill your breasts, your body will assume that it no longer needs to make that much milk. So make sure you keep removing the milk.
- You can diagnose the cause of the strike to death, but it won't do you any good. Just be persistent, calm, cool and collected. So many things may cause a baby to refuse nursing. In Chase's case it was encountering pain from teething while nursing, so that even when he wasn't in pain, he was afraid he would be at breast. Sometimes babies get startled when you gasp or jump because they bit you and are afraid to nurse. Often, there is no reason that anyone can put their finger on. Maybe a cold? Sore throat? Headache? Whatever, it doesn't really matter. Moving forward do lots of things to make it a pleasant and enticing experience. Sing to your baby, snuggle and tickle, play little games, chomp on little fingers and toes.
- Be patient. Chase's strike seems to have been short, but some last a week, two weeks, a month! It is very trying, it's emotionally exhausting, it's physically exhausting, but sticking it out, protecting your supply, and letting the baby come back to breast on his/her own terms will yield great payouts for you and for your baby.
- Kelly Mom (of course!): Regards any age baby not nursing, it isn't necessarily directly about nursing strikes, but the tips here are VERY useful if you are in the midst of a nursing strike. It also has helpful hints and techniques if you have a very young baby refusing the breast for any reason.
- Mother and Child Health - Surviving a Nursing Strike, I am not all that familiar, but this article seems to have some good tips though some seem to be more appropriate for younger babies than mine. If I gave Chase my finger to suck on, he would bite it off. ;)
- La Leche League:
- Dr. Jay Gordon's Site: Nursing Strikes
- I recommend checking out The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding for great information on strikes. The Ultimate Breastfeeding Book of Answers also has some good tips, but in general I do not recommend this book to moms, it's too much reading. It would serve you well to go look at the section on nursing strikes while you are in the book store or library and just leave it at that.
- And for a little hope that THIS TOO SHALL PASS...Chronicle of a 40-day Nursing Strike
We here at The Good Letdown are here for you too, if you are in the middle of a strike and need mamas to reach out to, information, support, someone to tell you that it's going to be ok...you know where to find us!