Sunday, July 24, 2011

Hiding

This last week has been a whirlwind of family while we attended a family reunion. Those who are on my facebook know that I'm tandem nursing but I wasn't sure how comfortable I would be nursing Olivia in front of all of those people. I had NO problems nursing Ella but Olivia is almost 3 and society says that breastfeeding a 3 year old is weird. I do NOT agree that breastfeeding a 3 year old is weird. I think it's beautiful and I'm SO proud that Olivia relatched and is nursing again. It drove me crazy that I felt uncomfortable nursing her like I usually do in front of all these people. I talked about it with my husband and my friends and I turned her down multiple times. Finally, right before bedtime, she was asking and so I did it. I nursed her in front of my mother in law. She just kept talking to me and didn't look twice. I don't know what she was thinking, but I so appreciated the fact that I didn't feel judged by her.
While we were at the family reunion, Olivia was too busy to want to breastfeed so it didn't become an issue. After we left, my brother in law came back with us so he can spend some time with all of us before going back to California. This morning, Olivia wanted a boobie (as she always does) and so I nursed her. My brother in law came upstairs. He ate breakfast and didn't look at me weirdly, didn't say anything...nothing. Again, I don't know what he was thinking but the fact that he didn't say anything or give me weird looks really meant the world to me.


I wish I could say I am now fully comfortable nursing Olivia in public. I wish I could say that I cured of my insecurities about nursing a toddler...I'm not though. It is definitely something I'm struggling with but I am working towards being more comfortable with it. Because our nursing relationship has been reestablished after a year of not nursing, Olivia is essentially nursing on demand and she likes to breastfeed at least 3-4 times a day, as much as 6 (usually not though). Generally speaking, I don't deny her when she wants to breastfeed, however I find myself denying her in public or when we're around family other then our immediate family or my mom.

I don't want to be this way though. I don't have a problem with people who keep their toddlers on a schedule, I TOTALLY understand it. The only reason I'm not is simply because we recently reestablished and she went a year without. As time goes on, I think I'll limit her a bit but for now I'm letting her nurse on demand and trying to work through my own issues that society has put upon me.

2 comments:

  1. Good for you! It's awesome that you have such a supportive family when it comes to breastfeeding. I wish mine were the same. I get sent away to a bedroom because "nobody wants to see that". :-/ I don't even want to know what is to come as C gets older. I started getting the rude "you're *still* nursing" comments when he was 6 mos. old!

    I didn't realize that Olivia started nursing again after not nursing for a year! Very cool!

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  2. Way to go!!! I think it's great that you are again nursing her and that your family seems supportive!

    My little girl is now 14 months old and up until now I've been comfortable about nursing her in public but lately for some reason I don't feel comfortable :( I feel that when she was younger people would for the most part understand but now that she's older I don't want to be judged. I'm mad at myself for feeling that way :/ My feelings haven't stopped me from nursing her if she wants it in public but I'll admit that I try to feed her before we go out just so I won't have to do it in public.

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