Friday, April 29, 2011

Cherishing - This Moment in Thought

It's been raining for the better part of the last 2.5 weeks here in south-central Indiana. Work in the yard has been limited, time to play outside has been limited, I've been trapped with my monsters indoors for the better part of this time. So I've had time to think...I've thought about what a stubborn mule Aiden is, and how his personality now is just as it was when he was a baby, strong, playful, active, and stubborn. I've thought about what a pain his tantrums are, and how tired I've gotten of dealing with tantrum after tantrum. I've thought and thought about ways to support his personality while limiting his tantrums. I've thought about what a charmer Chase is, how his personality is so completely opposite of what Aiden was and is. I've thought about sending him to live with distant relatives when he stays awake for two hours in the middle of the night, I've thought about how his "yelling" is making me nuts inside this house with almost nothing on the walls, I've thought about how to bring him up in a way that preserves his gentle nature.

But today, as the sun is FINALLY shining and the skies are clear, I'm thinking about how much I cherish both these wonderful boys for being a part of my life, with their challenges come so many blessings, so many laughs, smiles, and hugs. In a way, I can cherish Chase's middle of the night play time...it's the only time he and I are TRULY alone. I cherish Aiden's strong will because I know it will serve him well when he is a grown man. I cherish my husband who, like me, is not always his best person in the middle of the night, because without saying a word, in the morning, he wakes up with Aiden, feeds him breakfast, and let's me sleep a little extra to make up for the hours he knows I spent "playing" with Chase in the middle of the night. Then he marches off to work so that we can have this home for our family, and so our wonderful boys never go without.

I cherish sweet moments nursing Chase. At his age, he's so interested in the world that a quiet nursing moment with him is rare during the day. Today this position caught his attention, he was very interested in this new set up...He wiggled and looked around, talked to me with his mouth full, made funny faces, and then...then he took advantage of these big, saggy bags, laid his head on my arm, and rolled his eyes back in his head and took a brief, peaceful, milky nap.

Aiden was quietly playing in the playroom just long enough to make this moment a reality. Chase is 6 months old, and I don't know where the time as gone. 

This afternoon I was overcome with the sweetness of my monsters both wiggling in my lap as I read them "Go Dog Go!" before nap time for Aiden. Aiden trying to snuggle up as small as he could while I read, reading with me, telling me the story...he's such a big boy. Chase trying to grab at Aiden, talking to him, and trying to get his big brother's attention. I thought...these are my boys...and these moments are rare. So I took a moment to cherish the snuggles and the interaction. 

Most of the day, I've been looking down on our flooded beach to observe our turtles...all the rain has brought the lake up pretty high, and they can all now get on top of the retaining wall to sun themselves. I want to tell them to scoot over and make room for me...I'll bring my Kindle (and I cherish my mom for sending this to me for mother's day..."for those few moments you get to relax") and we can sun together with our toes in the water! 

My house is kind of a mess today. I'm not really cherishing that, but I do cherish that my husband tolerates the insanity cuz his sweet boys clamor for him when he walks in the door. I think being a stay at home mom is the hardest thing I've ever done, it's more work than any job I've ever had. Some days it's thankless until I go to bed and imagine how heartbroken I would be if I didn't have this option. So I cherish those hard days that teach me to be grateful I can be there for my boys when they are having hard days. I let the house slide for their benefit, so we can play instead of distract, snuggle instead of scold, laugh instead of pout. It's worth it to me. Because frankly, the days I let the house slide are the best days with my boys...the view from the top is the best! 
1 happy nursling, my feet up, and the sun shining
on my green yard just beyond my toes.
Life. Is. Good.

Today I challenge all our readers to find the light in the shadows, the good things to be cherished under the hard times. Cherish your little monsters. Cherish the lessons you have learned through the struggles you face. Cherish those challenging nursing relationships that you had to fight to keep. Cherish the days that are so crazy you never shower or dress. Cherish your body...it has given you those gorgeous children and fills out their plump cheeks, gives them a place to snuggle. Cherish the choices you made, because you did what you thought was right, and that was what mattered. Now, sit down and share with us what you are cherishing today!

2 comments:

  1. Such cute pictures!! Nursing is such a blessing to my bond with my dd.

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  2. Now I have Madonna "Cherish" in my head.... my boy.. I will always cherish you...

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